There are so many reasons why I actually work some and am not a fully SAHM (stay at home mom...blogger abbreviation, which I am not always in to, but this one is just cute.) I have a friend who is curious about my decision, so I thought I would share it with my readers and the world, in case, my thought process is helpful to anyone else.
Deciding to not work full-time was the easy part for me. I plain and simple did not want to and my heart was very clear in sending this message. If I should work at all and how much I should work was the next decision.
If I am going to worry about something, money is typically high on the list. This upsets me since I am not a money driven person and rarely make decisions based solely on money. Yes, I do think about money, but I do not let money be the biggest part of any decision. I had a feeling, I would work at least some, so the question was how much. I made an extremely detailed family budget and added it all up with "a little wiggle room" (this is one of my favorite Tracy-isms). Then, I compared it to our income and goals. Although this step was stressful and required a lot of research, it was the easy part since it was objective in nature. Next came the subjective part of the decision, which involved me considering the personal value I place in other benefits of working. This included maintaining my professional self, time with other adults talking about more than just my kid's sleeping habits or diapers, a chance for others to spend time with Mr. B (I do love to hoard him since he is amazing...at least in my mommy eyes), contributing to the greater world, getting to wear more than just comfy clothes (this was a pro and a con), etc.
There were a few things I did not realize though. I recently posted when I was sad because I was working A LOT. Check it out here
Turns out Mr. B does miss me (yes, I know you all knew that, but in my guilt filled mommy brain I needed real evidence) and has wonderful ways of showing it. Here are a couple of interesting ways:
- Although he is a toddler, when I get home he has to be held for a long time. I now plan ahead and make sure to stop at the bathroom before I leave work for the day.
- If husband D has to put Mr. B to bed, he will sometimes wake up and then when he sees I am home sit up praire dog style and ask to be picked up. Cuteness and cuddles all in one happy reunion.
- When Mr. B sees me put on certain shoes, he gets upset and tries to prevent me from putting on work shoes...even bringing me non-work shoes from the closet. Long ago he brought me daddy's shoes...lol
- And, my favorite occurred after a day home with daddy. Mr. B and I were playing in the all purpose room (I have a small house), while husband D finished up dinner and was talking to us while we played. Mr. B got up off the playmat, walked over, and emphatically shut the door between the two rooms. Let me translate from toddler speak..."This is MY time with mommy. Leave us alone."
The Compromise: Being somewhere in between SAHM and working mom. Missing my Mr. B and having a chaotic, hectic schedule that is never the same from week to week.
The Sweet Reward: Spending enough time away from Mr. B to get to find out how much he loves and misses me...He is an awesome kid. And yes, I do know I am blessed. :)