One For the Record Books

Where to begin my sordid tale?

When husband, D, and I decided that staying home as much as possible was our parenting journey, we realized that I had to work some. This means that I toggle a few part-time positions with full-time mom.  Most days it works amazingly well and my son, Mr. B, really goes with the flow of constant change.  We have what we call Daddy days and Mama days.   Typically we have the latter. 

Well, today began as the former...a Daddy day...and it was the second one this week, which can be unpredictable at best.  I worked all day and followed it with an evening commitment that meant Mr. B came along.  This type of situation was so much easier when he was younger.  I recall taking him to a work training all day when he was 6 weeks old. He was so quiet and well behaved that people came up to me afterwards and said they didn't even realize a baby was present.  Mr. B has become a professional at handling work meetings and all types of more adult environments with ease and an infectious grin.  So, he came with me tonight. The event ended at bedtime, so I  naively assumed we would leave and he would fall asleep in the car with pajamajams already in place.  I did not work in to my plan "running over."  A 20 month old on second wind in pajamajams is adorable even when hard to handle.  Well, then came the true compromise (by the way engaging in a professional meeting with a 20 month old running around was not the true compromise...amazing!).  While doing a last diaper change and restuffing the cloth diaper shell/cover, Mr. B ran off in unzipped footie pajamajams.  Yep, that's the note we ended our evening on...well not exactly.  Mr. B then made sure to show off his favorite part of himself.  I think I will now change my career choice to professional toggler.  Is that a real thing?

The Compromise:  wearing one professional hat by day, driving one hour and then trying to wear my other professional hat while being mama

The Sweet Reward:  "the story" to hold in my back pocket if ever his head gets too big for himself.

Why I work

Oh, yes, there are so many things I write on this topic.  Do you remember the old show, the 25,000 Dollar Pyramid?  I will work backwords today and give you the topic, Why I Work, first and then the details.

There are so many reasons why I actually work some and am not a fully SAHM (stay at home mom...blogger abbreviation, which I am not always in to, but this one is just cute.)  I have a friend who is curious about my decision, so I thought I would share it with my readers and the world, in case, my thought process is helpful to anyone else.

Deciding to not work full-time was the easy part for me.  I plain and simple did not want to and my heart was very clear in sending this message.  If I should work at all and how much I should work was the next decision.

If I am going to worry about something, money is typically high on the list.  This upsets me since I am not a money driven person and rarely make decisions based solely on money.  Yes, I do think about money, but I do not let money be the biggest part of any decision.  I had a feeling, I would work at least some, so the question was how much.  I made an extremely detailed family budget and added it all up with "a little wiggle room" (this is one of my favorite Tracy-isms). Then, I compared it to our income and goals.  Although this step was stressful and required a lot of research, it was the easy part since it was objective in nature.  Next came the subjective part of the decision, which involved me considering the personal value I place in other benefits of working.  This included maintaining my professional self, time with other adults talking about more than just my kid's sleeping habits or diapers, a chance for others to spend time with Mr. B (I do love to hoard him since he is amazing...at least in my mommy eyes), contributing to the greater world, getting to wear more than just comfy clothes (this was a pro and a con), etc.

There were a few things I did not realize though.  I recently posted when I was sad because I was working A LOT.  Check it out here

Turns out Mr. B does miss me (yes, I know you all knew that, but in my guilt filled mommy brain I needed real evidence) and has wonderful ways of showing it. Here are a couple of interesting ways:

• Although he is a toddler, when I get home he has to be held for a long time.  I now plan ahead and make sure to stop at the bathroom before I  leave work for the day.
• If husband D has to put Mr. B to bed, he will sometimes wake up and then when he sees I am home sit up praire dog style and ask to be picked up.  Cuteness and cuddles all in one happy reunion.
• When Mr. B sees me put on certain shoes, he gets upset and tries to prevent me from putting on work shoes...even bringing me non-work shoes from the closet.  Long ago he brought me daddy's shoes...lol
• And, my favorite occurred after a day home with daddy.  Mr. B and I were playing in the all purpose room (I have a small house), while husband D finished up dinner and was talking to us while we played.  Mr. B got up off the playmat, walked over, and emphatically shut the door between the two rooms.  Let me translate from toddler speak..."This is MY time with mommy.  Leave us alone." 

The Compromise:  Being somewhere in between SAHM and working mom.  Missing my Mr. B and having a chaotic, hectic schedule that is never the same from week to week.

The Sweet Reward:  Spending enough time away from Mr. B to get to find out how much he loves and misses me...He is an awesome kid. And yes, I do know I am blessed. :)

Cloth Diapering Decision

If you follow my blog, you may be shocked to hear that cloth diapering required a decision, given my aspiration to be as green as possible.  My husband, D, lovingly was devil's advocate for this one.  Thanks D!  To maintain absorbency and clean smell (both essential in our world), you do two full cycle washes (first cold, second hot) and an extra rinse.  Then, either hang to dry or machine dry.  D wondered about the total cost to the environment, something I try to consider with all my decisions.  With the amount of water we would be using, washing diapers every other day, we wondered what is the total hit the environment would take.  This math requires something akin to quantum physics as you must consider environmental impact of manufacturing cloth versus plastic diapers, landfill intake of both (our covers may have to end up there at some point), water usage to clean one and manufacture the other, fuel usage to deliver either option to store and then to my home, electrical usage of modern washing for the cloth option, water usage to spray off the diapers (just use your imagination here), and even energy used to create, design, and advertise both products.  The list is endless, so we hired an out of work mathematician...oh that's what math majors do after college. They help out confused bloggers.  Instead we focused on our biggest concern of cloth diapers, which is and was the water usage.  Given we live in the Midwest where water is more plentiful and we are not overall wasters of water, the environmental impact seemed acceptable.  Add to that our good fortune that we live in a city without water meters and instead a "system" for charging residents for predicted water usage (I am thinking of digging my own personal lake...;) This means that our water cost is consistent every month no matter what we do.  (really this is our city's attempt to get people to bathe more often)

so, cloth it is after debating the water issue.

The Compromise:  Using much more water and a bit of time

 The Sweet Reward: so much more money in my pocket book, no weird chemicals on Mr. B's patootie, getting a little sunshine when hanging them to dry, no last minute diaper runs where you come home with 20 100 dollars worth of "must haves"

My fav cloth diaper source: Cotton Babies

BTW, Since diapering seems to take over my world at times, I am sure I will have more for you on this topic late.  I am sure the fact that Mr. B is again diaperless (to "take care" of a sore bum following consumption of grapes again) has nothing to do with why my thoughts are floating to diaper matters. 

PS Mr. B just couldn't resist the grapes offered up in the hand of his best bud :)  Yep, that's how we roll.