Initially I was planning a go live date of yesterday, but well life changed a bit. Everyone in our family has been sick and the house has grown tired...I'm not kidding I think even the stone foundation may start to droop. In the midst of it all, a very wise person asked me this weekend what I did for just me this Summer. I was stunned into silence and I am a talker so that says something. I had no answer...none. Still having trouble, unless you count a badly overdue and needed haircut. As I sit here and stew, I can come up with one thing. I read two books....two WHOLE books mind you. In mom world, of trying to be almost everything I deem important, this is huge. Oh and I enjoyed them and did not read them for work. So, apparently there is something important to one's psyche of doing things just for yourself. Yes, I could have written a blog entry last night as originally intended and gone live on the internet...doing away with this silly practice-blogging-pretending-to-have-an-audience style of writing (Secretly I picture all of my pretend audience in your underwear to dispel my stage freight...some of you should consider having a little more fun with your underwear apparel). Instead, I enjoyed the recent break in our 100 + degree weather to sit on our sun porch, drink a glass of wine, eat previously prepared lentil soup and homemade bread, while being a human again with D. By that I mean, the two of us just talking without interruption (this was after Mr. B was asleep). Yes, there was silliness and joking and laughter and smiles. In short, it felt great and not just because I was skipping school or the equivalent of this in blogger world.
The Compromise: Disappointing blog audience self by not fulfilling deadline.
The Sweet Reward: Reconnecting with spouse on a beautiful night and learning an important lesson to do things just for me without worrying about everything else.
I celebrate my go live day with this important lesson that we all need to remember that we are
Human Beings and not Human Doings!!!!
A hard lesson for me so if you struggle with it too, you have my support and sympathies.
Now go focus on the Being and do a good deed for you.
Love,
Tracy
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